This. Cat. Is on fiiiirree.

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So, I have this thing about Alicia Key’s song, “Girl on Fire” so go back and read the title again, but to the tune of “Girl on Fire.” You’re welcome. You’ll never NOT sing that line when someone says something is on fire.

July 15th is Pet Fire Safety Day! And I know you haven’t thought about fire safety since you learned to stop, drop, and roll in first grade so I’ve assembled some tips and resources. Because, let’s face it, if your cat looks anything like the one above, it’s definitely going to start a fire.

Basic Bitches

The best fire safety tip is the most basic. Don’t f*ckin’ start fires. Got candles? Get them out of the way of children/pets/drunk roommates. Fireplaces? Know how to care for a fire. Don’t leave flammable sh*t near the fireplace. Check your damn chimney. Are you a ::shudder:: smoker? Quit. You know it’s bad for you, and think of how many cats you could adopt with that money?!

Next up, make sure your smoke alarms work. It’s not hard. Just make some bacon. You don’t even have to burn it. If your smoke alarm beeps as if an actual fire occurred, you’re good. If not, change the batteries then push the test button. Or make more bacon.

Have a Plan, Stan

Again, for the people in the back…have. a. plan. If there’s a fire, can you get out? How? Is there more than one way to get out of your home? (spoiler alert, yes.)

The National Fire Protection Association has step-by-step processes to follow to design a plan that works for your home.

When you’re traveling, pay attention to those floorplan maps you routinely ignore. Take five minutes and figure out your route and then enjoy not making your bed or picking the towels up off the floor.

This. Cat. Is on fiirree!

I said what I said.

If you have a cat, a dog, a saucy parakeet, or our favorite type of animal, small children, a few tips to help you make sure you don’t have to file a claim with your insurance company.

  • Keep candles well out of reach and don’t leave them burning unattended or longer than their label indicates is safe (check the bottom of most candles for safety info)

  • Keep them out of the kitchen (where they can accidentally start sh*t pawing at the range knobs)

  • Make sure your pets are accessible to firefighters if you’re away from home (if you leave your pets in a crate on the second floor, or lock them in the basement, this is NOT what accessible means. Also, don’t do that with your children. I know it’s tempting.)

  • Use one of those handy window clings to list the number of pets you have (and then hope that this isn’t where the fire starts).

This, and a number of other excellent fire safety resources, brought to you by the Red Cross.

Stay fiery, cats and kittens.

Proud to be an Americat

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Hey cats and kittens! We’re getting ready for the most red, white, and blue of holidays, 4th of July. Can you even call yourself a Pawtriot if you don’t set off 2,340,538 fireworks well past curfew? Or in direct violation of bans designed to prevent you from setting ALL of California on fire?

Of course you can’t. But in the true spirit of celebrating our freedom from oppressive regimes, taxation without representation, and tea, let’s not forget those among us who count on the rest to ensure their safety and comfort.

I’m talking about the cats, of course. But truly, all pets. Also veterans, immigrants, refugees, gun violence victims, and any number of other fellow human and animal beings suffering from fear of loud noises, noise triggered PTSD, and the like.

If you have indoor/outdoor cats, give them a chance to hide in their favorite safe place inside this weekend. Be vigilant for people abusing animals with fireworks. It’s both disgusting and illegal.

I’m not taking away your fireworks, only asking for a bit of empathetic consideration. Stay cool, cats.

As if you needed an excuse...

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But just in case you do. June is adopt a shelter cat month! Many human societies and other pet shelters are highlighting their feline residents in hopes of finding them furever homes. Here are some top awesome things to consider when matching for your next feline frenemy.

Years of experience

Who doesn’t love a squishy, squeaky lil’ kitten? Monsters, that’s who. They’re built to be eat-you-up adorable and are hard to resist. They are also a big unknown. Will they end up doing well with kids? With men? With other pets? With your furniture?

Mature cats often come with histories and more easily observable behaviors. They’re already litterbox trained. They also need love, care, and to GTFO of shelters. The senior felines will just melt your heart in different ways.

Plus, consider it your karmic good deed to take an elderly cat to live out its remaining years in the comfort of your home and company. You’re pretty much guaranteed good vibes for at least 10 years.

A fantastic deal

Often times, the cats you adopt are coming ready to plug and play! No set-up necessary. They’re up to date on their shots, they’re spayed/neutered, and may even come with a starter pack of food and litter. Since cats can get pregnant starting around 4 months of age, and we all know we’ll procrastinate setting up that spay/neuter appointment, it’s a significant plus.

Adopting from a shelter also supports the operations of the shelters which tirelessly serve our communities. If you have an extra $5, consider making a one-time or ongoing donation to support their work.

Better than people

You already know this. But even the cats who are assholes are still better than most humans. So odds are good that you’ll be happier with a new shelter cat than your new neighbor. Plus, if you’re a slob, you can blame the cat when your roommate asks why your clothes are on the floor or the dishes aren’t done. #thecatdidit

If you’ve been contemplating adopting your first cat, or adding to your existing brood, June is the perfect time. Don’t you think? Tag us in your photos and share your adoption story with us for a chance to win free Clawndoms!

#catgirlsummer

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We’re seeing all the #hotgirlsummer things being put out into the universe, and of course the hilarious spinoffs. So, cat ladies, unite! It’s time to make #catgirlsummer rise like the cream that it is!

SHOW US YOUR PUSSIES! (the cats, it’s always the cats, please no graphic photos, Jesus, who do you think we are?!) Tag @clawndoms and #catgirlsummer. What are you and your cats doing this summer?

if you’re somewhere in the Brood X area of the world…I bet you’ll have lots of cicada presents. Are you near a beach? Does your cat love/hate the sand? Does your cat love/hate the water? Does your cat love/hate the adorable beach outfit you purrchased (aah, it’s so satisfying to pun…) for it? #catgirlsummer.

Let’s have the best summer ever making each other laugh, and who knows, maybe we’ll throw in some free gear to the cats that make us pee our pants and/or snort loud enough for the neighbors to hear.